Rules of (Our) Cats

1. Though shalt not let humans poop alone. Remember, all doors open when you pull them toward yourself. So get that door open and make sure they know you're there for them. If you are Amelia, they are cornered and stationary => approach for love.
2. Check in with the humans at 3 am every day to make sure they are still alive and will feed you in the morning. This is a requirement. Every. Single. Morning. Use whatever force necessary.
3. Human-given "rules" are really just suggestion. If they're not looking, it's not even a suggestion. Do as you please.
4. The only blinds in the house that matter are the ones still covering windows. Disregard all other windows, you need access to that one, immediately, every time. Get yourself on the other side of those blinds. 
5. It is a 100% guarantee that both food bowls are different and you are being treated unequally from the other feline in the house. You had better check out both food bowls in a continuous, alternating fashion in order to ensure your complete satisfaction with meals.
6. Don't be afraid to let the humans know where you are. This could mean several things, from an obnoxiously loud meow or series of meows to engaging your claws with their skin. Your choice, really.
7. If the humans give any indication that they may need something soon, sit on it immediately and remain there until further notice. Laptops and tablets are especially high  priority, but this rule can apply to literally anything.
8. The front door is the ultimate challenge. It is to be feared or taunted, however you see fit. If you make it into the hallway, the first corner is not to be turned. Proceed to give your human a work out up and down the first hallway segment. Particularly if they are on their way somewhere, make it last, make it count.
9. The human's sleep times are merely suggestions. That doesn't mean you have to keep it down or stay in one place. Carry on with your regularly scheduled activities.
10. Engage with other cats in whatever manner you see fit. The humans know you love each other, but a test of their will is always welcomed. Hiss and scream and whap at one another. Then snuggle in the recliner for an afternoon nap.