This flight attendant has it out for me.
I have no idea why. I boarded the plane in an orderly
fashion, didn’t hold up the line, quickly and manageably stowed my items in the
overhead bin and pulled out my tablet. Yet she keeps making faces at me.
It might just be her face. You can never be sure with flight
attendants. Some of them just have this look about them like they hate all
people and all things but they do this anyway, so you’d better just put up with
it. It’ll be easier on everyone that way.
Thankfully she’s the first class attendant, so I don’t have
to actually deal with her. Not that I would antagonize her or anything! I
actually try really hard to be nice to all strangers. You never know what kind
of day or week someone’s having, and as someone who has had some really crappy
days and weeks, a smile is a lot easier to deal with than a jerk. Hell, a
smile from a stranger can even brighten one of your darkest days if it’s just
the right smile.
Anyway, I’m sitting in that first row right behind first
class. I never realized how tough a place this was to sit. You get to see,
hear, and smell all of the goodies but you have no direct access. Then the
cranky flight attendant comes and closes the MESH CURTAIN. How is this supposed
to help? I can STILL see, hear, and smell everything, now there’s just a rude
piece of see through fabric between the two sections. I really want one of
those blankets. It’s unreasonably cold on this plane and a blanket would just be
a nice touch. I usually travel with a pillow and a blanket, but since we’re
trying to bring the cats on the way back, I tried to pack as light as possible.
This has just left me cold and almost as cranky as cranky flight attendant.
The prerecorded welcome to the flight shpeal came on and
told us that we would be free to retrieve items from the overhead bin. I, along
with several other passengers, took that as an indication that we could do so
NOW. No. This was not the case. I glanced over and cranky pants was trying to
burn holes through me with her eyes, the intercom phone in her hand. “Ladies and
gentlemen, the seatbelt sign is still on. This means you must remain seated. We
have NOT reached our cruising altitude. The captain will turn off the seatbelt
sign when we HAVE reached cruising altitude.” I believe that’s what she
actually said. What I heard was “Sit your butt down. This is not the day for this
shit and you need to put your ass back in that chair before I throw it off this
plane.” I returned to my seat without making further eye contact with cranky
pants. This was when she came to section me off from the rest of the civilized
group of passengers.
Well. At least I have headphones.
